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Attachment & Healthy Relationships

Deep Dive Replay


Books on Attachment and Friendship

Platonic -

Books on Attachment and Romantic Relationships

The Power of Attachment -

Attached -

Podcast Episodes Why We Love the Way We Love: Attachment Styles with Dr. Becky Kennedy

How to Fix Our Loneliness with Dr. Marisa G. Franco

How to Improve Any Relationship: The 4 Attachment Styles You Need to Know & Tools to Become More Secure

Resources to Use When You're Interested in Beginning/Continuing Healing Work Around Attachment & Reparenting

How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self

How to Meet Your Self: The Workbook for Self-Discovery

Happy Days: The Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace


Reparenting is a process of caring for ourselves in ways that we needed as a child but didn’t get. It begins with witnessing your experience as a child and learning about what needs you have that are still unmet. Then you can begin to ask yourself how you can find ways to meet those needs. This may look like learning to speak to yourself in a kind way, beginning to allow yourself time for creativity and play, or learning to set healthy boundaries.

This healing work can be difficult if you had a traumatic childhood. Allow yourself space and time to grieve and process. It may be helpful to seek the help of a therapist.

Reparenting Through Practice the 4 S’s with Yourself

Safety – How can I provide myself with a safe inner and outer environment? Examples: committing to weekly therapy sessions, daily practices to regulate my nervous system and release stress, advocating for myself (work, doctors, relationships), practicing sleep hygiene, creating a home environment that feels comfortable and safe, eating healthy food and taking supplements that make me feel confident in my ability to care for my body, etc.

Seen - How can I help myself feel seen? Pay attention to my emotions, both positive and negative, honoring my emotions instead of pushing them away. Get curious instead of judgmental or self-shaming.

Soothed – What do I need, and how can I sooth myself or find soothing?

spiritual practices, meditation, connecting to a friend, partner, safe person. Soothing self-care tools like warm bath, weighted blanket, swinging in hammock, comforting music, massage, touch etc.

Secure – When we practice providing our inner child parts Safety, being Seen, and being Soothed, we begin to establish a secure attachment with ourselves and can then begin to become more securely attached in other relationships.

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