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Attachment & Healthy Relationships





Deep Dive Replay



Resources


Books on Attachment and Friendship


Books on Attachment and Romantic Relationships





Resources to Use When You're Interested in Beginning/Continuing Healing Work Around Attachment & Reparenting


Reparenting


Reparenting is a process of caring for ourselves in ways that we needed as a child but didn’t get. It begins with witnessing your experience as a child and learning about what needs you have that are still unmet. Then you can begin to ask yourself how you can find ways to meet those needs. This may look like learning to speak to yourself in a kind way, beginning to allow yourself time for creativity and play, or learning to set healthy boundaries.


This healing work can be difficult if you had a traumatic childhood. Allow yourself space and time to grieve and process. It may be helpful to seek the help of a therapist.


Reparenting Through Practice the 4 S’s with Yourself


Safety – How can I provide myself with a safe inner and outer environment? Examples: committing to weekly therapy sessions, daily practices to regulate my nervous system and release stress, advocating for myself (work, doctors, relationships), practicing sleep hygiene, creating a home environment that feels comfortable and safe, eating healthy food and taking supplements that make me feel confident in my ability to care for my body, etc.


Seen - How can I help myself feel seen? Pay attention to my emotions, both positive and negative, honoring my emotions instead of pushing them away. Get curious instead of judgmental or self-shaming.


Soothed – What do I need, and how can I sooth myself or find soothing?

spiritual practices, meditation, connecting to a friend, partner, safe person. Soothing self-care tools like warm bath, weighted blanket, swinging in hammock, comforting music, massage, touch etc.


Secure – When we practice providing our inner child parts Safety, being Seen, and being Soothed, we begin to establish a secure attachment with ourselves and can then begin to become more securely attached in other relationships.

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